Long fields of frolicking stars
Quiet Melody and rhythm
A Slow random dance
step and they part Shower steam
when they gather by the thousands
There is no distance
up they go to still stars
color is the only distinction
Brightest white to Blazing yellow














Comments
"Long fields" is really good. I never would've thought to use "long" to describe a field! That might sound simple, but really, I never would've thought of it.
Nice alliteration with "fields of frolicking" and nice rhyme with "brightest white."
The imagery here is really good; I can picture it all nicely.
The Dictionary-reading dork has only a few complaints. "Fireflys" I believe should be "Fireflies," and in line #2 "Quite" should be "Quiet," I think.
Very cool, man, keep 'em coming.
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